Many of the clients I see don’t do any form of self-care and often feel it would be indulgent or selfish to do so; some of them even think they need someone’s permission to look after themselves BUT they are so wrong!
Each of us is unique and of value, and whilst we are talking of uniqueness, please give up the habit of comparing yourselves to other people- just stop it! Despite appearances, we all have struggles, heart-aches and disappointments in life – I do and so do you and that’s just how life is which means it’s vital to look after ourselves so that we can cope with life and grow as people.
We all matter, our lives matter and to live our best lives we need to look after ourselves, not just in the lifestyle choices we make but also in the relationship we choose to have with ourselves. If we value ourselves and have the courage to admit when we need help and get it, we can better navigate our own journey and enjoy life more.
When people struggle on without seeking help they often aren’t aware of the negative habits that can develop; one of the most harmful of these is negative self-talk.
Negative self-talk is often the cause of anxiety and poor performance in sport, exams and interviews; it can corrode our relationships with self-doubt and insecurities and cause us to make poor decisions and turn down opportunities through fear. It’s powerful influence stems from the fact that it plays on loop in the background of our mind and so not only do we not notice it but we don’t ever challenge it – we think and say negative, unkind things to ourselves that we would never say to a good friend.
The way we talk to ourselves matters a lot! Our thoughts about ourselves influence our feelings and our feelings influence our physical reactions and behaviours via the invisible channel of communication from thoughts to feelings to reactions/behaviours. Anxiety attacks are triggered by our thoughts about ourselves when faced with particular situations; our feelings of fear and not being able to cope set off the physical reactions of a racing heart, sweating, trembling, dizziness etc; it’s that same invisible channel of thoughts-feelings-reactions/actions.
So I hope you can now appreciate how self-care is important and how self-talk greatly contributes to how you feel about yourself and your ability to cope in situations. Check in with yourself and if you are struggling, have the courage to get some help.
Yvonne
